We know that no one writes a break up song like Ms.Swift. It’s her absolute speciality when it comes to harbouring those feelings and conveying them in a way that somehow makes a situation that is unique to her relatable to everyone else. That is the power of Taylor Swift’s pen.
Now this song in particular has the girls in a frenzy and after hearing it, I also needed to join the straight-jacket team. Not only because it was raw in terms of what she is currently experiencing and the vulnerability is so clearly expressed in the song, but in the way that I can say with certainty that every single girl has felt this song to her core at one point in her life or another.
Now, I won’t be breaking the lyrics down regarding Ms.Swift’s personal life but in a way that showcases why this song devastated its listeners because of its universal experience of trying to fight for a relationship where you’re the only party who seems to be fighting. In High Infidelity, Swift sings, “You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love. The slowest way is never loving them enough” and this song is the poster child for that lyric.
We start the song off with a defeated sigh. We all know that sigh. The sigh that comes from a place of “I can’t believe I am actually doing/accepting this.” A sigh that comes from fighting a fight you so badly wanted to get through, a soldier returning half her weight.
You say, “I don’t understand,” and I say, “I know you don’t”
We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won’t
Remember lookin’ at this room, we loved it ’cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
I’m getting tired even for a phoenix
Always risin’ from the ashes
Mendin’ all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
Throughout the song you can hear Swift’s heartbeat in the background. I won’t be dissecting all the different choruses but the ones that brought out the fetal position.
My heart won’t start anymore (Stop ’cause you’re losin’ me)
My heart won’t start anymore (Stop ’cause you’re losin’ me)
The echoes in this pre-bridge are absolutely immaculate and sound like a rushing pulse in your ears, just the way anxiety feels which preludes the most famous architecture in the world, a bridge constructed by Taylor Swift.
How long could we be a sad song
‘Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don’t you ignore me
I’m the best thing at this party (You’re losin’ me)
And I wouldn’t marry me either A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
And I’m fadin’, thinkin’
“Do something, babe, say something”
“Lose something, babe, risk something” (You’re losin’ me)
“Choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe, unless you’re choosin’ me”
I have to be honest, when I first heard this bridge in the song, my heart sank to the floor and my eyes watered. Because I felt it. I felt every single word that she had sung and I knew that so many other women could relate exactly to what she was saying. Only you know the strength it takes to be the only active participant in a complacent relationship where the other doesn’t realize how detrimental they are by NOT doing anything. By not trying. By not caring if they are losing you. When you are there trying to give them your best version of yourself, all the understanding and empathy you can possibility give a human and end up bleeding yourself dry. You will do anything to salvage a relationship that keeps opening its wound because it needs watering from both sides but you’re left dehydrated. But if you try hard enough, you hope with all your might that the other person will the see the effort you are putting in and want to try, too.
She goes on to speak about her unwavering loyalty, how she was always on his side even when they were at odds. She uses war-like expressions, a call-back to her other songs, most notably “The Great War.” She then goes on and says, “Don’t you ignore me. I’m the best thing at this party. And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her” I know these lyrics are getting the most traction and for good reason. It comes with the double sided inferiority and god complex we see in her song in The Archer, and, as a Sagittarius, I have always felt this way my entire life so it was a double whammy completely calling me out. All you want is THAT person to see you, all you care about is their opinion. You could have a million eyes on you and it does not matter if it isn’t THEM and she encapsulated that with perfection. She is a mirrorball, glimmering beautiful, yet he doesn’t seem to care. Through the facade of pleasing people, she is pleading with him to SEE her the way she wants him to so desperately see her, the way that she sees him. I know we have all felt that way. It is a pedestal you put them on and you just want them to see you with the same incandescent filter you seem them through.
Personally, the following lyrics was when I might have whimpered and gotten choked up and I KNOW that everyone in a dying relationship has felt it when she was begging him, singing, “Do something, babe, say something. Lose something, babe, risk something. Choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe, unless you’re choosin’ me… you’re losing me.”
You can’t help but scream-sing these lyrics because they are felt to the bone. You are having all these emotions inside you and wanting to yell at the person because they can’t seem to make a choice. A choice that seems so easy to make because you would make it in a heartbeat. You are in a stagnant purgatory because you want them to be fearless and for once, just let go of their fears and ghosts, and choose you. To risk SOMETHING for once, to lose their pride and ego and trust in your love and relationship. It is such raw desperation and she sings it with such conviction. She wants him to do anything, say anything, choose something and that is probably because she was being met with no effort, no communication or “I don’t know what to say” and yet, when all is said and done, he cannot understand why she is leaving because he thought the relationship was “fine.”
And like the mastermind she is, she ends the song with, “I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore” and the heartbeat we have heard echoing in the music the whole time disappears. She flatlines. Whatever she was fighting to keep alive in the hope that he would pick her, choose her, love her (our girl was in her Grey’s Anatomy era) is dead and once any woman gets to that point, let me tell you… it is a dead end street.
This song is easily in her top heartbreaking songs and what hurts even more so is seeing how many people are relating to such a devastating feeling. Love and loss, the ignition to all great songs.
Letters to the dreamers. 
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